Monday, June 25, 2012

Man the pumps!

Raining like a sonufagun here. The only ones liking that are ducks and roofers. Roofers love it cause they don't work in the rain except for emergency repairs and ducks like it cause ...well... they're ducks. At this point there isn't a whole lot you can do except try to mitigate damage. If you have water coming in then try to give it a way out. Under no circumstances should you get on a wet roof and try to patch it yourself. If you don't know your business up there you can get hurt really bad. I mean REALLY bad. Case in point. Me! This was a roofing accident and I am a pro. guess what? a hit like that will take the wind out of your sails quickly. Stay safe out there and stay dry.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

Rain rain go away.

This sure is a wet place for a state called the sunshine state. I believe this name was coined by the theme park industry. Other misnomers are the state bird and the state flower which are not the mockingbird and the orange blossom as the legislature would have you believe but are actually the mosquito and mildew. That being said this is a great place to live because even the evening news is more entertaining than almost anywhere else. We have the stupidest criminals, crookedest politicians, and the sleaziest lawyers in the US. Sometimes we get the hat trick and our stupidest criminal turns out to be a crooked politician who is also a sleazy lawyer.

Friday, June 22, 2012

slippedcog: It's going where?

slippedcog: It's going where?: Computers are great. They give us games, information, instant communication, illegal music downloads and so much more. However during the e...

It's going where?

Computers are great. They give us games, information, instant communication, illegal music downloads and so much more. However during the early stages of the development of a tropical storm they are no better than you or I at predicting strength and ultimate destination of said storm. I would liken it to us throwing a dart at a map except it's worse than that because the computers that "weathermen"....excuse me..."meteorologists" use have an unlimited supply of darts and will use every one to confuse you and drive chaos. This is because local newscasts thrive on severe weather or the threat of severe weather to drive ratings and the weathermen get to be the superheroes. Ultimately they had nothing to do with the course or severity of the storm but they get to quit losing their lunch money for a change and take credit for your eventual survival. "We are here to keep you safe" is a common enough catchphrase because "We are here to drum up hysteria" is a little too callous sounding and "We are here to try and justify a paycheck" is just too self-centered. At the same time corralling the support of the station managers for that irresistible piece of new technology they love to play with needs ratings. Never mind that it's primary purpose will be to detect smaller disturbances that are farther away at an earlier date to extend the hype window out even further than it is now allowing the cycle to begin sooner so it can be massaged for the best results. Call me cynical but you have to admit there is a  certain grain of truth buried in my latest rant.....Why are they called meteorologists anyhow? They are wrong about so much more than meteors.

Saturday, June 16, 2012


Frankly right now I'd settle for the lions tigers and bears. That would make it football season and the bugs wouldn't be so bad. So today I dedicate my efforts to getting rid of the little buggers...Get it? Buggers?...Haa! I kill me! And I'm gonna kill them too. We have these little black flies which seem to be immune to anything, even my cooking so It's time to figure something out. If you have any ideas I would love to hear about them but they must meet some important criteria.
A) Cheeeep.....(free)
B) Easy.....(lazy)
C) That's it there is no C.
 Help us out were going crazy. They don't bite but they're driving us nuts