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Friday, September 27, 2013

Friday! Fall! Football!

   Ah yes it is that magical day of that magical time of the year named football season. The coffee shops are all selling their seasonal offerings of pumpkin spiced stuff that tastes nothing like pumpkin but we forgive them. It is Friday, As of this writing it is Friday morning. A Friday full of hope since even fans of high school ball have yet to experience a crushing defeat. Have you done what you need to do to enjoy the game? Or have you settled for just enough to get by? Around here the weather and the season seem to be forcing the carpenter ants to seek more hospitable accommodations. These accommodations include but are not limited to crawling up my pants leg.
     For those not in the know a carpenter ant is unfairly labeled. It is not a carpenter in the sense that it does not build structures to give you shelter or pleasure. It also will not show up 30 minutes late to drink your coffee and make small talk about things that have nothing to do with the project that is a week behind schedule. A carpenter ant is named because it infests habitat familiar to carpenters, namely old, rotten wood. This can be the dead tree and leaf litter associated with it or the rotten siding on your house. If you have the trees there is a good chance you will have the ants.
      I for one wish to spend the game noshing on nachos without the unwelcome attention of an ant that can bench press a Cadillac crawling up my leg. Make no mistake these guys can get big and the biggest ones pack a wallop. As far as I know they are non-venomous but the largest ones have a set of gear on their head that is straight out of a Japanese horror movie. With this goal in mind I intend to proceed straight out with a retail preparation designed by people smarter than me to foil the invasion. After all, as effective as a size 13 flip-flop is I would still prefer to vacuum the carcasses up post mortem as opposed to dealing with the live critters. I've had enough dealings with them in the past to know when chemical warfare is actually an appropriate alternative.