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Saturday, July 2, 2011

Holiday weekend! Woohoo!

For my friends in the great white north it is time to celebrate Canada day. South of the border it is Independence Day weekend. Being the geographically challenged guy I am forgive me if I forget anyone. Todays lesson is on staying safe for the festivities as well as preserving life and limb for other stuff like cleaning up the mess when its over.
(1) The drunker they are the farther they must be from the grill. To this end do not keep the beverages near the grill.
(2) If a guy says to you "aww c'mon its just a lil firecracker" there is a good chance its not and you should be careful who and where any personal fireworks displays are performed.
(3) Do not ask how they want their meat cooked. The guy who said make it rare is the guy you will be taking to the emergency room for intestinal distress. Just cook it all well and let them save their preferences for their grill.
(4) Do not drink and drive. We all know it but the jails are full of drunk drivers so I have to say it again. If you have to make a beer run find the sober person pleeeze!
(5) A string of firecrackers going off in the lap of the guy passed out in the lawn chair is hilarious. Really? If you did it to me the laughter would be short-lived. If you actually like the person drag their chair over to a safe spot to sleep it off and while your at it rifle their pockets for car keys. (see#4)
Have a happy and safe weekend and remember safe trumps happy. I know a few guys whos last words were "Ya'll watch this" or "Hold my beer a minute"